The Evil Twins Leading in the Polls Again

by Gary Wood
© October 11, 2007

With the advent of an early election campaign season we have been bombarded with national and local polls showing the default winners for the U.S. Presidency General Elections before the first primary vote is even cast. There may well be a significant change regarding the winner of the Republican side of the equation while the Democratic contest appears to be more a race for Vice President than President, especially if you listen to the mainstream media. In discussing the outcomes there is no loud roar for third-party candidates and the idea of any dark horse from either of the two-party oligarchy rising to victory appears unlikely to most observers right now.

Looking at all the polling data it was interesting to get feedback from some family and friends about the results and what it meant to them. Resoundingly there was the inevitable feeling the choice in the General Election would once again be a choice of the Lesser of two Evils. Some felt Lesser Evil was Democrat while others felt Lesser Evil was Republican. This confusion is easy to understand when you finally realize that More Evil and Lesser Evil are identical twins.

It is necessary to investigate these two twins more closely to improve our understanding of how they seem to dominate the elections each and every year. The Evil twins were reluctant to talk to me initially but I finally convinced More Evil to sit down and answer some basic questions for Hear My Thunder.org (HMT). Here is what we learned before the interview was cut short;

HMT – Thank you, More Evil, for sitting down with us. Can you explain why you’re twin, Lesser, and you seem to always be so popular?

More – It’s really a simple formula. We plan our platforms to be close enough on many issues as to actually blur understanding while keeping enough differences to sway the people toward one of us while convincing them a vote for anyone else is a waste.

HMT – In our research we’ve never uncovered anyone willing to vote for you, the voters always cast their vote for Lesser Evil, how do you deal with such losses every election year?

More – We are very well connected, Lesser and I, so it really doesn’t matter.

HMT – Why doesn’t it matter?

More – I do not use my name due to an impulse toward favoring Lesser, I’ve come to accept the fact nobody likes me. Look, think about 2000 when Lesser beat me out in the courts, remember that?

HMT – Yes, go on...

More – Everyone now knows that Lesser did not really beat me, you see we’re identical twins. All those voting for Lesser thought Lesser moved into the White House but in reality WE moved in. What you get when you vote for Lesser Evil is both More and Less Evil, no matter how it comes out Evil wins. Face it, right now you are talking to More or are you? You really don’t... {More’s phone rings...nods...hangs up} Ummm...seems we aren’t to be talking about this with you, seems...ummm...just forget what I said, we’ll deny it anyway, I gotta go.

HMT – But we have additional questions...

That was the end of the interview, More Evil (if that was More and not Less), quickly left without another word. Once this is published there will also no doubt be denial from one or both of the Evil Twins yet we do have the actual tape recordings of the conversation.

Another discovery is the Evil family is quite large and twins are a common occurrence. We’ve seen Evil members running for office at all levels, Federal, State, and Local. One of the key factors for on-going success is the Evil Family seems to be well-balanced between the two major parties. This has helped both funding and exposure through the media. The Evil Family is very well connected with policy makers, lobbyist, and other public officials.

The most disturbing fact that came out of the brief interview we had was the cavalier attitude evident in the tone of More, if that was indeed More. The other major awakening for me was the blatant disregard for concern over which Evil twin wins. Everyone thinks they are voting for Lesser Evil while nobody thinks they are voting for More Evil. What we are getting however is both, or in other words, Evil wins every time, and its been quite a winning streak.

It would appear the only hope we have for breaking this victory parade is taking a stand against voting for Lesser Evil. If the choice is between the More and Lesser Evil we must look for another candidate to invest our vote with. However, to do this we must be able to come to grips that voting for anyone other than the Lesser of the two Evil is not a waste but a demand for government change, a change that will not come in a government overseen by More and Lesser Evil, as we know all too well.

Shopping Stops Terrorism!

By Gary Wood
© October 10, 2007

Checking my watch I see it is early October. Commercials are starting, stores are decorating, and it is time for another year of the commercialized push toward Christmas gift giving. Consumers prepare by checking the credit card balances and setting up home equity lines of credit to insure everyone is ready to spend their way toward holiday happiness. Not only will our families be happier if we buy like crazy, it is the patriotic thing to do and our way of helping to defeat the terrorists.

Remember we are taught the importance of shopping in fighting off the terrorists. One need only listen intently to the words of the U.S. President, the Honorable George W. Bush. “This war on terror is the calling of a new generation; it is the calling of our generation. Success is essential to securing a future of peace for our children and grandchildren. And securing this peace for the future is going to require a sustained commitment from the American people and our military....A recent report on retail sales shows a strong beginning to the holiday shopping season across the country -- and I encourage you all to go shopping more.”

In recent years I met the onslaught of holiday advertising with a grunt and groan. The commercial focus on the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas was something I grew so frustrated over I nearly considered boycotting holiday gift giving all together. Forgive me for being so selfish and narrow minded regarding the shopping season. It wasn’t until the call to arms by Bush that I realized how unpatriotic I was by being annoyed with the commercials and displays at every turn. This year my outlook is different for now I know the debt load and gifts will go a long way in sticking it to terrorists who attempt to destroy world neighbors everywhere.

With many new credit card offers bombarding the mailbox it suddenly occurred to me just how helpful these companies were being. It was not some profit based, high interest charging, self-interest that caused them to mail me more credit debt opportunity. No, these corporations were merely rallying behind the cries of leaders to fight terrorists in our own backyard and around the globe. These companies were aiding to arm an army of consumers poised this holiday season to deliver a severe blow to the terror networks of the world. It was not my rightful duty to shred these offers; it was time to make a stand, to arm myself and family with the artillery necessary for a battle that would culminate in victory over the evil attackers of our liberty.

It does not matter where the products are made, simply buy the products. Give to every person a gift whether friend, family, or even a foe. To the foe present toys from China, to the friend and family avoid recalls if you dare. This is a time for all citizens to band together, armed to the hilt with all the credit one can obtain. Shop until you drop! Fight on through the mobs and give them their due for they are merely attempting to be as patriotic as you!

Give me credit or give me death! Take not the purchasing power from my hands but allow me the buying power to deliver our stores from evil. Frivolous presents shall not be delivered for all presents will aid more than a family, they will aid our world in warding off the dangers of homicide bombers everywhere. Fear not the overpowering debt, know deep in your heart you are fighting for life, liberty, and freedom in all corners of the globe!

Embrace the commercials; be honored by the in-store displays. Know this is happening for one purpose and only one purpose. WE defeat the terror and drive it into the depth of dark caves by shopping, not dropping, our way to freedom and liberty. Shop on fellow citizens, rise to the call, shop on fellow citizens, and death ~ to terrorists all!